WWE Undressed (21 June 2002)

Overview

The World is the name of the restaurant/club underneath the WWE store in Times Square. It is as close to a permanent set that the WWE has anywhere. They have screens all over the place, exhorbitant prices, and regularly get WWE personalities to visit and host shows like RAW (on Monday nights) and Smackdown (on Thursday nights). They also host pay per view events.

Monday, I was out at a client working when the receptionist pages me about her and her roommate going to see Lita at RAW that night. Lita had broken her neck about five weeks ago, while filming part of the finale for Dark Angel, and this was her first public appearance since then. Not having anything better to do, I went with them.

Tuesday night, the receptionist (Karen) and her roommate (Tia) went to see the Criss Angel (illusionist) show that is also theatre space underneath the WWE store in Times Square. They picked up flyers advertising the filming of a WWE special on Friday. The receptionist knows that I've got a thing for Stacy Keibler and Trish Stratus, so she was looking out for me. Turns out the filming was for "WWE Undressed," airing on TNN at 9 p ET on Tuesday. With WWE's signature classless style, it's a lingerie modeling contest for a bunch of WWE divas.

Friday night (2002.06.21), Karen and I had dinner at The World, figuring we really didn't want to stand around in the crush of people that wanted to get down into the pit area where the catwalk was set up. So, being the stragglers that we were, we tried to look for a place to stand where we could see the catwalk. We looped around to the left of the stage where there's a bar and were planning to stand up by the rail to watch when the manager of the place opened up a whole new section to the left of the catwalk. Karen and I ended up as close as you can get to the catwalk without having to deal with an overbearing crush of people. Apparently, they had stacked the right side and the center with as many people as they could before opening up the left side, to make it look better for the cameras.

So, ideal conditions. Up close and personal. The ladies were gorgeous, but of course, in character. Couldn't meet any of them, but we were able to meet some of the judges, including Al Snow (from the WWE/MTV Tough Enough contests), Maven, and Edge. It was great. It would have only been better if I could have taken Stacy home with me.

So there it is. No joke. Watch the show on Tuesday and you might actually see me on camera looking like an idiot. You'll see my new haircut, too, since I still haven't taken any pictures of it.

Introduction

The show began somewhere between 8:30 and 8:45. We'd been waiting in the pit area for about fifteen minutes by that time. There was a lot of pre-taping of crowd shots with a boom operator moving a camera around the really packed in areas in the pit. We got some attention in the more sparsely populated part of the pit, too, but not a lot. Clearly the focus was in the more densely-packed spots.

The show opened with John "Coach" Coachman coming out on stage to get us ready for what was to come. Some of it sounded like it was just for the live crowd and I wasn't really sure when he really switched over to the stuff that I'm sure will end up on TV. First order of business, he introduced Jerry "The King" Lawler (a host from RAW) and Michael Cole (a host from Smackdown) as the hosts for the evening. They climbed off the stage in our area and circled around to a little staging area up on one of the balconies diagonally opposite from where we were standing.

Next, Coach introduced the judges:

		The first look at some of the judges: Al Snow, Maven, and Edge.
		A complete look at the judges: Paul Hayman, Jazz, Al Snow, Maven, and Edge.
		Al Snow, Maven, and Edge at the judging "table" (actually, it was just the end of the catwalk).
		Al Snow, Maven, and Edge at the judging.
		Maven and Edge at the judging table.

The judges were Paul Hayman (Brock Lesnar's manager), Jazz (an injured diva), Al Snow (a host of the Tough Enough show), Maven (a superstar), and Edge (another superstar). They were first introduced on stage and then sauntered down through our section and over to their seats at the end of the catwalk. To Karen's delight, Edge sat closest to us where she could see him all the time and be giddy.

Teddy Competition

Finally, the meat of the show began, though I really didn't have any idea when this part started. Who cared, really? We were about to see the divas. The show started with my personal favourite, Stacy Keibler:

		Stacy Keibler in her "teddy" outfit, though it looked more like a bra and panty set with a babydoll. It was very cute, though I'm sad to say the pictures didn't turn out so well as I was basically figuring out what I could or couldn't do with it.
		Linda wearing a black one piece that was somewhat shiny. She had a very odd gait about her, as if she weren't used to the heels she was wearing and she looked incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassed to be on stage. As you can see, I'm still trying to figure out the camera. I lost a lot of pictures in between, though in this case, she really got on and off stage so quickly it was hard to grab anything.
		Dawn Marie came next in another outfit that looked more like a bra and panty set with a babydoll on top. I rather liked this one as it was a little racier. It fit Dawn Marie well, just as the earlier, more innocent looking ensemble fit Stacy's appearance better. Stacy = cute. Dawn Marie = seductress.
		Torrie Wilson came next in this ensemble. I really don't know why they called this the teddy competition. Either the definition in my head of what a teddy is supposed to be is way off, or they just couldn't think of a better name for this particular set of outfits. Torrie was pretty, but didn't seem like anything special.
		Nidia came after Torrie and started with some kind of bewildered disdain while she stood at the beginning of the catwalk. She stalked up the thing chewing gum and otherwise doing a pretty good hack job of strutting. I figure it's because she was trying to stay in character, but it didn't do anything for me. Maybe it wasn't supposed to. She wore a bustier and panty set that I was ambivalent about.
		Terri came next and was immediately a crowd favourite, if only because she seemed to be warmed up and ready to go right off the bat. She really did a great job playing up to the crowd. She's too blonde and too fake for me, but she was no doubt a pretty good package. I think she's the shortest of the bunch. Cute little not-quite-leopard print ensemble, though.
		Jackie, the recent winner of the Tough Enough 2 contest, was present for this event as well. I don't know why she was included in the group. Honestly, I think it was just for promotion. Compared to the rest, she really couldn't hold a candle. Decently conservative navy blue lace bustier and panty.
		Trish Stratus looked gorgeous, of course, in a sleek black number and a cute coat. She worked the crowd as well, clearly one that is accustomed to showing off. I was still trying to get the camera to do what I wanted to here, but the divas were simply moving too fast and I ended up with a lot of blurred pics. It's pretty clear to me now that my digital camera is great for stills, but the auto feature is not up to snuff for things that require fast shutter speeds.

Plot Thickening and Intermission

		Alas, it wouldn't be the WWE if something didn't happen to spoil the fun. Could we have possibly thought it would be a normal fashion show with divas in lingerie? Of course not. As Trish was on her way back to the wings after strutting her stuff wildly in front of the judges, Jazz leapt up with her crutch and smashed Trish over the shoulder. Knocking her to the ground, Jazz, then jumped on Trish and thrashed her for a bit. I was in the perfect place to stare up Trish's ass as she flailed about. Trish's ass. It's a nice ass. Eventually, Jazz left and security came around to carry off the blonde.
		BONUS: More pictures of Maven and Edge at the judging table for Karen and her friends. Okay, they're there for some of you other folks too, but you guys didn't ask me to take pics of them for you.

Bra & Panty Competition

		The first intermission took long enough, surely more than any comercial break would have taken, but finally Torrie Wilson came out to start off the next competition. We weren't disappointed when she came out in an aqua lace bra and panty set, complete with a pair of shorts that she peeled off at the end of the catwalk. This time around, she seemed to be more into showing off than she was the first time through.
		Nidia, however, didn't seem to be any different this time than she was the last time. Once again, she started off with a bewildered look of disdain and stumbled her way up and down the catwalk. Cute pink-trimmed black number, but... 90% of the effect is how the person in the lingerie carries it off, right? Her outfit left a lot of little pink bits on the catwalk, too.
		Linda had a very classic white bra and panty set, completely with thigh high stockings. Though her gait was still a little awkward, she seemed to have shed off a lot of the embarrassment from the previous run. I think it helped her confidence a lot that there were quite a few people cheering for her.
		What can I say about Stacy Keibler, really? She's drop dead cute and that's no different here in her red bra and panty, with a short satin robe. I noticed that she wore heels, but none of them were quite as high as those worn by the others. She also didn't wear anything with a platform on them. Go figure. She's 5'11" and the others are probably all about 8" shorter than her. Sadly, Stacy wasn't really into playing up to the crowd much, but I guess it goes with her image to be not quite as trashy as the others.
		Jackie in a denim-print bra and panty came out next, complete with cut-offs and a satin robe. It was cute and she did a good job of playing around with her shorts, teasing the crowd and such.
		Dawn Marie was another crowd favourite in this red bra and panty set with see-through lace gown. She took her time working her way up the catwalk and unfortunately stumbled slightly when she accidentally stepped on her gown while rising up from a sexy little squat.
		Terri was always bubbly and continued to be that way in this round, coming out in a little white number and... well, she brought herself a chair and luridly danced with it. Can we say striptease?

A Scary Sight and Intermission

		Mae Young, a classic if there ever was one in women's wrestling, came out in a cameo at the end of the bra and panty competetion. She clearly enjoyed herself and hammed it up for the crowd. She stood in front of the boys (Al Snow and Maven shown) at the end of the catwalk for awhile, shaking her booty to their "horror." She also removed a couple of inserts in her lingerie and tossed it at them. They were eventually toyed with some more and then launched into the crowd. I checked eBay. They haven't shown up yet.
		Molly Holly come out to protest the morality of the event right after Mae Young headed off stage. She confronted Coach (I think) and insisted that this event, the "first ever Thong-a-thon" was a travesty. Of course, we're all piggies here, so she was jeered and security cheered when they came to drag her off.
		Caving to the pressure of the crowds, the boys engaged in banter and crowd surfing after the show bits calmed down. Notably, Hayman got into a snapping match with some Navy guys. The other three moved around and got some pictures. Here's Karen with Maven and Edge.

Fantasy Outfit Competition

		Nidia came out to lead the third segment, the Fantasy Outfit Competition. She wore a white top and denim shorts with suspenders. The outfit was okay, but there really wasn't anything to it. She had that same disdainful look again and played up a little more with the crowd, but it was still not particularly impressive.
		Torrie Wilson was next, after a quick video clip with Rico showing disgust at Nidia's performance. This cute little pyjama set and the lollipop was a clear favourite and got a lot of cheers. I couldn't disagree. She looked fantastic in it and really worked it to its limits. By now, it seemed everyone had really gotten the hang of flirting with the crowd and none showed any more shyness.
		Linda was the most improved as far as comfort with the crowd was concerned. She came out in a black vinyl outfit with a riding crop. Yow! Boy, did she ever have fun with it and it showed. She stayed on stage for quite awhile, toying with all the people in the crowd.
		Terri came next with a white bra and panty set with blue trim that was nice but nothing special. She made up for it in spades by going into a sly and coy stripper routine with the judges at the end of the catwalk, though.
		Dawn Marie was absolutely gorgeous in this sequined pink bra and panty set with quasi-chaps. Very very sexy and a very good dancing act as she appeared out of the dry ice smoke effects and then came prancing down the catwalk.
No photos		Jackie was next in a lavender harem girl outfit. I didn't really see it and didn't get any pictures of it as I was frantically trying to delete old pictures off of my camera to accommodate Stacy, who was upcoming, and the ending of the show. I did catch her playing with the judges though, at one point putting her veil on Edge.
		Okay, I'm biased. My favourites going into this were Stacy Keibler and Trish Stratus. I hadn't heard of most of the others, but Stacy and Trish were my clear favourites going in. Coming out, I'd have to say that it's still Stacy on top, Trish right under her, and Dawn Marie right under Trish. Yeah, I'll let you folks wrap your heads around that image. Me, I'll go back to this really cute schoolgirl outfit. Stacy stayed out to play a little more this time, but she certainly didn't have the trashy stripper style that some of the other girls showed when they were out making their final walks. Sadly, the picture I took when she was bending over with her butt right toward me didn't come out. Guess I was just a little to quick on the trigger.

End Game

		Rico, who was disgusted by Nidia's performance this round--who wouldn't be?--decided that he needed to come out and show everyone how it was done. For the record, I applaud the guy for having the balls (and finding a way to hide them) to come out in a Madonna-like torpedo bra and thong. Yeah, work it, Rico.
		After the hoopla of Rico's performance, everyone gathered on stage to await the results of the competition. Jerry "The King" Lawler came down from his announcing perch and would give name the winner. Standing from left to right were Coach, Stacy, Nidia, Jackie, Terri, Dawn Marie, Torrie Wilson, Linda, Rico, and Jerry. You can see Jackie in the harem outfit that I didn't get a picture of earlier in the second photo. Really, these were taken mostly because I wanted more pics of Stacy in her schoolgirl outfit. Alas, some of the more interesting ones didn't come out too clearly. I lost one where she was sticking her tongue out in my direction.
		Torrie won the night, shown here with the Golden Thong trophy and taking a walk up and down the catwalk with it. Immediately after the second picture was taken, I ran out of battery and Stacy disputed Torrie's win, resulting in the logical conclusion: catfight. Bitchslapping galore.

Had it been up to me, the divas would have been scored in this order: Stacy, Dawn Marie, Torrie, Terri, Linda, Jackie, and Nidia. Had Trish actually made it through the entire competition, she probably would have fit in somewhere before or after Dawn Marie. Now, having seen what happened on Friday, I wonder what that would have foreshadowed for what was supposed to have happened Sunday night at King of the Ring.

It was a great show, made all the better that I was within spitting distance of a bunch of attractive and athletic women. Would I do it again? Hell yes. Now, excuse me while I go find a blank tape to record the airing on Tuesday (25 June 2002, 9 p.m. ET, TNN).

[The programme is now available on video and DVD. -Ian]

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