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March 14, 2006
Healing
At the risk of being morbid, I was going to write something about my friend Angela Tong today, but after a full day (and then some) at work, I'm not sure that I have much to say that wasn't better said last year.
A year has passed and a lot has happened. My life certainly doesn't look the same that it did a year ago and the things I used to put up with no longer seem bearable. All that lacks is action, and perhaps that is where I find my lesson this year.
There's been enough thinking; it's time to go do something.
March isn't a great time of year, with Angela's death and Grandfather's death all happening within two weeks of each other (albeit two years apart). This year, it seems to have gone by in a blur. Am I over it? Maybe, but I have to move on. It serves no one, least of all the deceased, for me to suffer over their passing.
I love you, Angela. I love you, Granddad. I miss you both dearly and the best way for me to honour you is to live fantastically. So, I will shed a tear and raise a glass and, once again, invite you to come with me for the ride.
Maybe this year I'll get a girlfriend... without going to Hong Kong, Granddad.
Posted by KinCross at March 14, 2006 10:48 PM
Comments
Well said.
I think it's time I gave myself permission to move on.
Here's something that may help you. Police told me that she was NOT raped, and was not violated post-mortem either. I know it helps me.
Beats chewing glass and chasing it with drano anyway...
Posted by: Gerry at March 15, 2006 12:26 PM
For me, in remembering these precious people in our lives, I like to take solace in the feeling that they are still a part of my life. I often feel like my cousin is with me, even though now 8 1/2 years later, I still get angry at times that I can't talk to her.
Miss them, yes definitely. But also be remember them for the footprint they've left with you. That you are a changed and better person for their place in your life.
(And yes, I know I haven't called you yet like I said I would! - I keep meaning to and things keep getting in the way!)
Posted by: Sue at March 15, 2006 09:13 PM
Thank you, Gerry. That does make a difference.
Posted by: Ian at March 16, 2006 01:08 AM
Hi Ian. A bunch of us (Carolynn, Evan, Grace, Ling, and Philip) are planning to visit Angela's resting place on Friday or Saturday.
One year, Carolynn, Clara, and I left gummy bears on the headstone to pay tribute. They were a favourite candy of hears, I recall. Well the gummy bears melted in the sun and streaked the headstone, only to be washed away by rain days later :)
Also, when I visited two years ago, I walked through Beechwood, visiting old plots. As I left former Prime Minister Sir Robert Borden's plot, I walked down a hill on what I thought were stepping stones. Turns out those were 19th century burial headstones!
Gerry, how do you know Angela? I don't think I've met you before.
Posted by: Clement Ng at March 16, 2006 10:04 AM
Every now and then thoughts of Angela come to my mind and this evening I thought I'd Google her name to see what came up and I found this site.
I find it reassuring to see that so many people cherish Angela's memory. I went to Carleton University with her for 3 years. We were aquiantences at school, worked on projects together and, like other TESL students, were anxiously planning our future careers. On the day I found out that I'd be heading to South Korea to teach English, I saw Angela's photo on the front page of the Ottawa Citizen.
Life is sacred. Each moment we have is a gift from God. The saddness that overcame me with Angela's death changed me.
I have been teaching for the past 8 years: Ottawa, Korea, Toronto and now in Montreal. Everwhere I go, Angela's memory stays with me and when times get rough, I think of her life and realize that my own is a gift from God. And when I teach my high school students, I take special care to teach them the importance of being kind to each other - as Angela was.
Everytime I hear Sarah McLaughlin's song "In the Arms of the Angels" I think of Angela.
Just thought I'd share. Take care.
Posted by: Allison at May 20, 2006 06:34 PM