CTHB

The black sedan peeled out of the garage and merged silkenly into the heavy corridors of cars leaving the airport, only to be stymied in the crawling expanse of Sepulveda between the airport and the 105. The curve onto the ramp was a godsend when it came and the six cylinders finally had their chance to stretch. The miles fell by the wayside quickly, aided all the more by the pole position in the far left lane, segregated from the less fortunate. The passenger, accustomed now to the feel of the seat pushing into his back, finally got a sense of what the ride was going to be like as the pressure increased over the soaring ramp to the 110, the lights of the city winking at him in the waning sunlight.

The first real sign of trouble didn't appear until I neared the Coliseum, when it was clear that we were being shadowed. Cars began to crowd in, people in dark glasses encroaching in my space, and soon it would not be bearable to stay the course. My passenger had somewhere to be. I made eye contact with a monobrowed driver--or as much eye contact that can be made when both are wearing dark glasses--lofted a sly grin, and slid off the freeway. I could almost hear the curse as Unibrow was condemned to the next exit.

A quick zig-zag on Adams set the sedan on Figueroa and options began to run out fast. It was crowded and moving slowly, but there was nowhere to go. Silence filled the car, slowly giving way to the gnashing of teeth and wringing of hands as the minutes ticked away on the console clock. The numbers on the street signs slowly counted down and all seemed well until the road declined, denying my planned turn onto Temple. Panic flashed behind my shades, unnoticed by the passenger, and without a flinch, the sedan pulled out of of the lane and spun around in the other direction to jog over to Beaudry on Second. Barely tapping the accelerator, the car didn't complain a bit while leaving turbulent lights chasing its tail in yellows and reds and merely leaned into turn when a flurry of hands swung the car around onto Sunset.

With the freeways taboo and a mountain to surmount, with heavy traffic going about in all directions, only creativity and reflexes allowed me to stay one step ahead of the pursuers. Those mysterious folk in the black pyjamas were not going to prevent me from delivering this package. Elysian Park, Stadium Way, Academy, Stadium Way again. The car shot this way and that, reversing the path of a skier slaloming down a hill, except without snow.

Or skis.

The engine thrummed satisfyingly as I barelled down the other side of the hill and swung wide to ride along the 5 while Silver Lake and Glendale splayed out to the right. As I came off of Stadium Way and onto Riverside, they and the clock caught up to me and the race was on. The sedan shot through Riverside and hit the verge of a drift while cornering hard to get onto the 2, barely getting out in front of a silver BMW intent on cutting off that route.

Momentarily shaken, the clan wouldn't stop and picked me up again just as I was swerving off to fight onto the 134. Though the HOV lane beckoned, the chasers had learned and were swinging lane to lane to keep it out of reach. The elaborate ballet between the Hondas and Toyotas and Fords danced from aria to aria until the fat Escalade sang and a clever feint into the carpool allowed me to slip off at Cahuenga. Before they realised where I had gone, I made sure to drop down to Lankershim and then back onto Cahuenga along the 101. As I turned onto Universal Studios Drive, I could see them coming from the opposite direction, but it was too late.

One screaming, pedal-to-the-metal launch over the highway and all they could do was watch in agony as the sedan slid up to the curb and dropped the passenger off at the red carpet at exatcly 7:10.

Okay, so it's a little embellished, but the route is true and so were the start and stop times. The ninjas weren't real. You would never see real ninjas coming.

Actually, Kit describe the ride less like the BMW Films and more like "The Transporter with a driver that wasn't as cool."