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April 30, 2003
"Ian, you made everybody cry."
As I write this, I find myself 33,000 feet in the air and tired beyond belief after four consecutive nights of barely any sleep and a couple of early morning airport delivery runs, yet feeling too energized to attain blissful unconsciousness. The last two weeks have been a whirlwind, and even as I say this, it feels like a horrible cliche, but I can't find a better way to describe it. For those of you who didn't know, I've been in Southern California for the past two weeks to attend the wedding of two of my best friends from college, Soo Sun Choe and Henry Lee.
Celebrating the many cultures represented by the bride and groom, three ceremonies were held, starting with a private Quaker ceremony in the morning. Unlike the traditional treatments of officiants, brides, grooms, and vows, the Quaker ceremony was a shocking change. with a strong focus was on meditation, sharing, and the participation of all in attendance.
The ceremony was held in a bright and sunny room at the Santa Monica Meeting of Friends and it would have been hard indeed to not feel joyful with all the sunlight that graced us. In the tradition of the Quakers, it wasn't the officiant marrying the bride and groom for us, but the bride and groom marrying themselves with the attendees, right down to the guests signing the marriage certificate at the end.
Further emphasizing the guests as participants and not mere observers, there was a period of sharing and testimonials following the vows--including a tear-jerking vow from Henry, choked with emotion from a usually stoic demeanor--and exchange of rings. For what was supposed to be half an hour, but felt like it was allowed to run well over the time allotted, guests were invited and encouraged to stand and speak their mind about the bride and groom.
Oh, how those stories from family and friends painted a picture! Instead of having your own little window into their lives, you suddenly had the richness of everyone's experience. From that of their parents and relatives, talking about how their youthful thirst for learning had begun such early experiments as the rotting of bananas in relation to temperature, through the college years and on to more recent friends who tell of the impact their activism has had in their lives. It was incredibly touching, to say the least, for it brought me to tears several times.
The early afternoon was probably the most typical of any wedding. There were refreshments, mingling, and the requisite photography. This soon moved into the locals' favourite game: Freeway Free-For-All. Traffic is an evil beast and, while the early guests were able to get up to the ranch in slightly less than ideal times of a little over an hour, the beast would rear its ugly head and really bite hard later.
The lions arrived late...
About an hour late.
Let me back up a little and explain. The bride and groom represent three ethnicities. The groom is Chinese. The bride is both Korean and White; I'd guess the White heritage to trace back to English, but that's just a guess on my part. This is significant because the entire day was split into three ceremonies, as mentioned earlier. The second and third ceremonies were tied together, beginning with the Korean and flowing right into the Chinese.
Although the Korean elements (a drumming group) were in place relatively on time, the lions for the Chinese portion of the ceremony were caught up in traffic from Monterey Park that made them an hour late in arriving. What should have been a 4:30 start ended up being closer to 5:30. As the joke goes, it's Korean/Chinese Time.
Where the Quaker ceremony was remarkable for it's informality and departure from the traditional, the Korean and Chinese ceremonies were definitely traditional in their respective senses, but departures from the norm from a Western perspective. Honestly, I didn't have that much time to appreciate the cultural differences. I was a little busy, you see.
For the Korean ceremony, I was asked to carry ducks. When I first heard this, I thought to myself, "Ducks. Okay." I had thought that I would be helping with carry the palanquin--"borrowed" from a restaurant from Koreatown--as I had been asked originally. My friend, Drew, was going to be one of four carrying the palanquin. I thought that would have been fun.
It wasn't until the first of two rehearsals that I discovered the significance of being asked to carry ducks. The Korean ceremony was narrated, and in that narration, I discovered that the wooden ducks I carried represented the bride and groom. I would be carrying these symbols of luck with me as I escorted the groom to the base of the aisle, where I would then give him the ducks and say a few words that were analogous to the words of advice a father of the bride would give to the groom in a Western wedding.
I'd been elevated to "best man" without knowing it. These were the words that I gave Henry before he walked up the aisle: "In a few moments, a very special woman will be following you up this aisle. Cherish her, love her, and we'll see if we still fit in these hanboks in fifty years." A hanbok, is a form of Korean formal wear.
The rest of the Korean ceremony went by in a flash, complete with lots of traditional drumming, which really lent a surreal atmosphere to the entire affair as it was outside in the late afternoon and the ceremony was such a departure from what most of us with Western upbringings would expect.
With the conclusion of the Korean ceremony, which involved the new husband carrying the new bride off on his back, the Korean drummers launched into a celebratory show. This would end in a tradeoff from the Korean drummers to the Chinese drummer that would take over for the Chinese tea ceremony. I didn't see any of this. As the Korean drummers kicked into their routine, Drew and I raced back to the cabana to change, as did Henry and Soo Sun. We all had different costumes to wear for the next ceremony.
The Chinese tea ceremony was very subdued and not nearly as elaborate as the Korean ceremony had been. Where there had been all sorts of different drink pourings and tradings in the Korean ceremony, the Chinese ceremony was very simple: a cup of tea is poured for each of the bride and groom and offered to each elder relative and, in turn, the relatives give advice and "lucky money" (those ubiquitous red envelopes). For Henry and Soo Sun, it was about eighteen or twenty cups of tea.
Then it was time for the much awaited lions to descend on the newly married couple to bless them with good fortune. The lion dancing troupe that performed at the ceremony was the same that performed in Rush Hour and The Replacement Killers and their leader, Jeff Chang, is a very affable guy whom I had the pleasure to meet earlier in the week during the group's rehearsal in Monterey Park. It is an awesome group and they did not disappoint with two active lions and even one with a little kid that was absolutely adorable. They played with the crowd. They played with the bride and groom. They were a sight to see.
In the end, the lions led everyone over to the reception area, where a buffet style dinner was served with open seating, allowing people to easily trade seats and mingle or clump together in their personal groups as they felt comfortable. Not great for intentional attempts at matchmaking on the part of the wedding planners, but who's keeping score?
Continuing with the theme of participation from the Quaker ceremony, the evening's festivities had the usual first dance and groom/mom and bride/father dance, but then quickly turned to the different. There were dedications to the new couple from two Korean singing groups comprised of many of their friends, a poetry reading from friends from the Bus Riders Union, and a fabulous slide show made from pictures of the new couple spanning their entire lives.
The mike was then made open and, as before, people came up to speak their minds to the new couple and everyone gathered about. It wasn't as intimate as the sharing in the Quaker ceremony, but it was fun to listen from the perspectives of more people. The rest of the night was filled with dancing and reminiscing, until it was time to leave.
It's at this point that I like to think of the ending of the wedding day as what followed was a little bit of a trial. On the other hand, I think it's a testament to the bonds of friendship of everyone who pitched in to help when it was discovered that some of the hired help had shirked their duties and left, leaving trash that had to be cleared away before the night was out. Some of us stayed through until 2 a.m. restoring the ranch to a cleanliness, but in the end, it only reinforced how special the day had been.
If I had only one moment to remember from this entire experience, I could select it without any hesitation: there was a moment, just after I had delivered my testimony to Soo Sun and Henry in the Quaker wedding, where the only sounds that broke the silence were the sniffles of the guests, when the full force emotion in what I had said truly hit me.
And I am eternally grateful that I had the chance to express how I felt about the two wondrous people with their hands clasped together in the spotlight.
Long life and prosperity in all your endeavours, Soo Sun and Henry. You are a tremendous blessing to this Earth.
Posted by KinCross at 02:33 PM | Comments (0)
April 28, 2003
From the Absolutely Wrong Dept.
An SUV.
Lowered.
Posted by KinCross at 05:06 PM | Comments (0)
April 27, 2003
Wonder if I should audition for this...
Maybe the only FOX reality show I'd ever watch: Appointed by America.
Posted by KinCross at 10:36 PM | Comments (0)
April 22, 2003
Final Exam Question #3
The following is a final exam question from a course on Microsoft Excel:
3. Research on the internet how to set up a free or small charge Web site. Type the instructions and then set up a free Web site of a business you would like to establish. Include as many graphics to attract the attention of anyone who you believe would buy your prodcut(s) or services. Then e-mail to me your new Web address so I can view it and submit the printed instructions to me by Thursday, May 1, 2003.Sounds a little extreme considering the fact that this is a course on Excel with absolutely no instruction on the Internet. The instructor should have no expectation that her class should be Internet-savvy at all, yet this question is here.
Moreover, the instructor also has questions that are unclearly written and expect knowledge of accounting practices (balance sheets). While I think that these are things that most people should know or learn, it seems patently unfair to me that people that signed up to take a course on Excel are being tested on their knowledge and comprehension of topics that are completely unrelated to the course.
Posted by KinCross at 12:02 AM | Comments (0)
April 14, 2003
I want a Honda Accord
On second thought, forget the Accord. I want a job making commercials like this. It's a shame that it's a UK commercial and may or may not get airplay here. Then again, a 120-second commercial is an eternity in a commercial block.
(WARNING: It's large. 11.6 MB large.)
Courtesy of Jack Gulick.
Update: Looks like the ad's been removed from the server. I can see why. I have a copy. If you really want to see it, let me know and I'll find a way to get it to you.
Posted by KinCross at 04:43 PM | Comments (0)
April 13, 2003
Public Service Announcement: Final Fantasy Beta Testing
The folks at ENIX are soliciting playtesters for PlayOnline, Tetra Master, and Final Fantasy XI Public Beta. Only thing is you have to have the network adapter and online connection for a PS2 or a whole laundry list of things for a PC. Looks like Mac owners are out of the lurch on this one.
Posted by KinCross at 08:37 PM | Comments (0)
April 10, 2003
Reload
What are you doing 15 May? You won't have to think too hard about what I'll be doing:
Posted by KinCross at 11:47 PM | Comments (0)
April 07, 2003
Hellraiser Cube
Just tossing this link up here because I don't want to lose it. Custom desktop cases, yeehaw. Say it again like Dubya: YEEHAW!
Now, go drop some bombs.
Posted by KinCross at 09:44 AM | Comments (0)