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January 29, 2003
Just when you thought all the Nigerian spam had stopped...
This comes in the mail:
IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED:Courtesy of James.HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL
FROM: GEORGE WALKER BUSH
DEAR SIR / MADAM,
I AM GEORGE WALKER BUSH, SON OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH, AND CURRENTLY SERVING AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT MET NEITHER IN PERSON NOR BY CORRESPONDENCE. I CAME TO KNOW OF YOU IN MY SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, WHICH INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF A HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO AN ACCOUNT REQUIRING MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE.
I AM WRITING YOU IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE PRIMARILY TO SEEK YOUR ASSISTANCE IN ACQUIRING OIL FUNDS THAT ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ. MY PARTNERS AND I SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN COMPLETING A TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN THE EXTRACTION OF PETROLEUM IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND BRAVELY SERVED HIS COUNTRY AS DIRECTOR OF THE UNITED STATES CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY.
IN THE DECADE OF THE NINETEEN-EIGHTIES, MY FATHER, THEN VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, SOUGHT TO WORK WITH THE GOOD OFFICES OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ TO REGAIN LOST OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN. THIS UNSUCCESSFUL VENTURE WAS SOON FOLLOWED BY A FALLING OUT WITH HIS IRAQI PARTNER, WHO SOUGHT TO ACQUIRE ADDITIONAL OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING EMIRATE OF KUWAIT, A WHOLLY-OWNED U.S.-BRITISH SUBSIDIARY.
MY FATHER RE-SECURED THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF KUWAIT IN 1991 AT A COST OF SIXTY-ONE BILLION U.S. DOLLARS ($61,000,000,000). OUT OF THAT COST.
THIRTY-SIX BILLION DOLLARS ($36,000,000,000) WERE SUPPLIED BY HIS PARTNERS IN THE KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA AND OTHER PERSIAN GULF MONARCHIES, AND SIXTEEN BILLION DOLLARS ($16,000,000,000) BY GERMAN AND JAPANESE PARTNERS.
BUT MY FATHER'S FORMER IRAQI BUSINESS PARTNER REMAINED IN CONTROL OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ITS PETROLEUM RESERVES.
MY FAMILY IS CALLING FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IN FUNDING THE REMOVAL OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ACQUIRING THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF HIS COUNTRY, AS COMPENSATION FOR THE COSTS OF REMOVING HIM FROM POWER.
UNFORTUNATELY, OUR PARTNERS FROM 1991 ARE NOT WILLING TO SHOULDER THE BURDEN OF THIS NEW VENTURE, WHICH IN ITS UPCOMING PHASE MAY COST THE SUM OF 100 BILLION TO 200 BILLION DOLLARS ($100,000,000,000 - $200,000,000,000), BOTH IN THE INITIAL ACQUISITION AND IN LONG-TERM MANAGEMENT.
WITHOUT THE FUNDS FROM OUR 1991 PARTNERS, WE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO ACQUIRE THE OIL REVENUE TRAPPED WITHIN IRAQ. THAT IS WHY MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES ARE URGENTLY SEEKING YOUR GRACIOUS ASSISTANCE. OUR DISTINGUISHED COLLEAGUES IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION INCLUDE THE SITTING VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, RICHARD CHENEY, WHO IS AN ORIGINAL PARTNER IN THE IRAQ VENTURE AND FORMER HEAD OF THE ALLIBURTON OIL COMPANY, AND CONDOLEEZA RICE, WHOSE PROFESSIONAL DEDICATION TO THE VENTURE WAS DEMONSTRATED IN THE NAMING OF A CHEVRON OIL TANKER AFTER HER.
I WOULD BESEECH YOU TO TRANSFER A SUM EQUALING TEN TO TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT (10-25 %) OF YOUR YEARLY INCOME TO OUR ACCOUNT TO AID IN THIS IMPORTANT VENTURE. THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WILL FUNCTION AS OUR TRUSTED INTERMEDIARY. I PROPOSE THAT YOU MAKE THIS TRANSFER BEFORE THE FIFTEENTH (15TH) OF THE MONTH OF APRIL.
I KNOW THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS MAGNITUDE WOULD MAKE ANYONE APPREHENSIVE AND WORRIED. BUT I AM ASSURING YOU THAT ALL WILL BE WELL AT THE END OF THE DAY. A BOLD STEP TAKEN SHALL NOT BE REGRETTED, I ASSURE YOU. PLEASE DO BE INFORMED THAT THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGAL. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO CO-OPERATE IN THIS TRANSACTION, PLEASE CONTACT OUR INTERMEDIARY REPRESENTATIVES TO FURTHER DISCUSS THE MATTER.
I PRAY THAT YOU UNDERSTAND OUR PLIGHT. MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES WILL BE FOREVER GRATEFUL. PLEASE REPLY IN STRICT CONFIDENCE TO THE CONTACT NUMBERS BELOW.
SINCERELY WITH WARM REGARDS,
GEORGE WALKER BUSH
Switchboard: 202.456.1414
Comments: 202.456.1111
Fax: 202.456.2461
Email: president@whitehouse.gov
Posted by KinCross at 11:34 AM | Comments (0)
January 26, 2003
Say Anything
In case you were all wondering, my what my inner John Cusack happens to be...
Courtesy of Jaxx.
Posted by KinCross at 11:33 AM | Comments (0)
January 25, 2003
Considering a Career Change
This is, of course, why I shouldn't take job advice from The Arrogant Worms:
The Last Saskatchewan PirateWell I used to be a farmer, and I made a living fine.
I had a little stretch of land along the C.P. line.
But times went by and though I tried, the money wasn't there.
And the bankers came and took my land and told me, "Fair is fair."I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no.
"Hire you now?" they'd always laugh. "We just let twenty go!"
The government, they promised me a measly little sum,
But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum.Then I thought, who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone?
I'm gonna be a pirate on the River Saskatchewan!And it's a "Heave! (Ho!) Hie! (Ho!)" coming down the plains,
Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains.
And it's a "Ho! (Hey!) Hie! (Hey!)." Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores.Well, you'd think the local farmers would know that I'm at large,
But just the other day I found an unprotected barge.
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser,
I rammed their ship and sank it and I stole their fertilizer!A bridge outside of Moosejaw spans a mighty river.
Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are a-quiver
Cause they know that Captain Tractor is hiding in the bay.
I'll jump the bridge and knock them cold and sail off with their hay!And it's a "Heave! (Ho!) Hie! (Ho!)" coming down the plains,
Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains.
And it's a "Ho! (Hey!) Hie! (Hey!)." Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores.Well, Mountie Bob, he chased me. He was always at my throat.
He'd follow on the shoreline cause he didn't own a boat.
But the cutbacks were a-coming and the Mountie lost his job,
So now he's sailing with me, and we call him Salty Bob!A swingin' sword, a skull and bones, and pleasant company.
I never pay my income tax and screw the GST! (Screw it!)
Sailing down the Saskatoon, the terror of the sea!
If you wanna reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me!And it's a "Heave! (Ho!) Hie! (Ho!)" coming down the plains,
Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains.
And it's a "Ho! (Hey!) Hie! (Hey!)." Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores.Well, the pirate life's appealing, but you just don't find it here.
I've heard that in Alberta there's a band of buccaneers.
They roam the Athabaska from Smith to Fort McKay.
And you're gonna loose your Stetson, if you have to pass their way!Well, winter is a-comin' and a chill is in the breeze.
My pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze.
I'll be back in springtime and now I have to go!
I hear there's lots of plunder down in New Mexico!And it's a "Heave! (Ho!) Hie! (Ho!)" coming down the plains,
Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains.
And it's a "Ho! (Hey!) Hie! (Hey!)." Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores.And it's a "Heave! (Ho!) Hie! (Ho!)" coming down the plains,
Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains.
And it's a "Ho! (Hey!) Hie! (Hey!)." Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores.And it's a "Heave! (Ho!) Hie! (Ho!)" coming down the plains,
Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains.
And it's a "Ho! (Hey!) Hie! (Hey!)." Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores.
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores.
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores.
Posted by KinCross at 06:02 PM | Comments (0)
January 22, 2003
Diseased Pissants
Someone's sending me a virus. I can tell because it's an "MPEG" file with a "PIF" extension and no one sends crap like that unless it's a virus. Which reminds me, it might be a good idea to buy a virus scanner, but right now I'm living on security through obscurity.
I'd still like to rip out this guy's bowels and serve it to him sauteed in butter and garlic, though.
Posted by KinCross at 12:18 PM | Comments (0)
January 14, 2003
Frodo! I'll have you!
Ever watch old kung fu films and scratch your head at the subtitles? (It's more fun when you understand the Chinese and read the subtitles.) Remember how bad some of them sounded? Things like "Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep" and "Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person" (http://www.effect.net.au/lukastan/humour/Media/Subtitles-in-Chinese-Films.htm).
Aren't you glad that Fellowship of the Ring wasn't exempt?
Posted by KinCross at 06:52 PM | Comments (0)
What if Lord of the Rings had been written by somebody else?
This is a great little bulletin board thread, coming up with gems like this one from Dr. Seuss:
Gandalf, Gandalf! Take the ring!
I am too small to carry this thing!
I can not, will not hold the One.
You have a slim chance, but I have none.
I will not take it on a boat,
I will not take it across a moat.
I cannot take it under Moria,
that's one thing I can't do for ya.
I would not bring it into Mordor,
I would not make it to the border.
Posted by KinCross at 12:37 AM | Comments (0)
make
I'm trying to install TinyFugue on my MacOS X (10.2) PowerBook and I'm having trouble finding the "make" binary. Anyone have any idea what the path might be or, barring that, if there is somewhere to get one?
Tired of using Rapscallion off of Classic. Looks like Savitar might have a native OS X client, but I haven't tried it yet. Alright, I'm being stubborn about trying to make TinyFugue work. Sue me.
Posted by KinCross at 12:04 AM | Comments (0)
January 10, 2003
Frodo Has Failed
In The Two Towers (the movie), the outlook is pretty bleak. The power of Men threaten to derail the hobbits from their task of pitching the One Ring into the fires of Mount Doom. For those of us that haven't read the books yet, do they succeed or does their Mission:Impossible actually fall to probability.
Posted by KinCross at 08:47 PM | Comments (0)
Two Articles from Something Awful
How is life on the Internet lived? Here's one humorously cynical (yet probably mostly true) view: My ePenis is Bigger than your ePenis.
Also, The Greatest Picture Ever.
Some of my favourites:
http://www.somethingawful.com/goldmine/01-07-2003/Gay_Skeleton_Quoter.jpg
http://www.somethingawful.com/goldmine/01-07-2003/janitorx.jpg
http://www.somethingawful.com/goldmine/01-07-2003/MC_Dookie.jpg
http://www.somethingawful.com/goldmine/01-07-2003/Reverend_Sam.jpg
http://www.somethingawful.com/goldmine/01-07-2003/The_Magic_Wanker.jpg
Posted by KinCross at 02:33 PM | Comments (0)
January 09, 2003
The Return of the King leaks
Yesterday saw the release of a number of The Return of the King photos from a calendar, four of which were displayed on Ain't It Cool News.
Today, there is yet more surprising information. No spoilers here. Go to the link if you want to find out more.
Posted by KinCross at 11:25 AM | Comments (0)
January 08, 2003
For Dave, listed by the Michelin guide as three stars
I said:
The answer to the little text box question is... the TITLE attribute.And Dave says:
[IMG SRC="filename.jpg" ALT="Text for browsers without inline graphics" TITLE="Displays in a text box when mouse hovers over image"]
That's not altogether correct. The IMG ALT tag will, in fact, create a tool tip style window with its text (as well as text when there's no in-line graphic). Certainly it does with IE of various Windows flavors. I can't find a source that identifies an IMG TITLE tag.There *is* an A TITLE tag, which is what you use when coding text links. Thus:
[A HREF="blah.html" TITLE="The Great Blah File"]click here for blah[/a]
Creates a link "click here for blah" that will put up a little window with "The Great Blah File" over it when you hover.
However ...
... doing a little experimenting, I find that IMG TITLE does indeed work, and it overrides a IMG ALT. However, if you don't have an IMG TITLE, then IMG ALT will work, too. In other words:
[IMG SRC="blah.jpg" ALT="alt text" TITLE="title text"]
will produce a little window "title text" when you hover over the image. But ...
[IMG SRC="blah.jpg" ALT="alt text"]
will produce a little window "alt text" when you hover over the image.
Maybe that's an WinIE specific implementation ("I'm shocked!"), but that's what works on this end.
Since the ALT tag is valuable for cases where an image doesn't load for some reason, or while waiting for it to load, *my* suggestion would be to go ahead and just use that, rather than duplicating the info in a TITLE tag.
Now, if only you had your comments working, I could put this there ... :-)
*** Dave
Here you go, Dave, complaint about my comments code and all. Now for the response:
I started with ALTs in a lot of graphics on the page I was working on, but none of them would show up in any of the browsers that I had on my Mac. Unfortunately, all of my desktop PCs are packed up and I don't really intend to unpack them in the near future, so I couldn't check it in a Windows environment. The TITLEs do work on a Mac, though, so perhaps running both is the most complete solution.
As for the comments... I'm working on converting over to MovableType, but I'm having trouble with getting the page layout to do what I want it to do consistently across browsers when using DIV tags and CSS. Right now, I have something that looks about right in IE, but they all wrap incorrectly in Opera or Chimera (Navigator). Try out http://www.cthb.org/dev/ with different browsers to see what I mean.
Updated 2003.01.08 22:33 - Added further comments on the subject from Mike.
The following comes from Mike, who has worked extensively on browser development at a programming level:
ALT is to be used for descriptive text that takes the place of the image when it's not available. For decorative graphics like bullets or separators, that may be a single character ("*") or nothing at all.TITLE is to be used for more information about the element over which you're hovering, such as details about the link you'll follow if you click, or the image that the thumbnail will bring up. Standards-conformant browsers will almost universally display tooltips for TITLE, rather than ALT, because ALT and the image should be equivalent -- no need to display both, then -- and because TITLE applies to more than just IMG tags.
You shouldn't use the same thing in an ALT attribute that you'd use in a TITLE. TITLE complements the element, ALT is an alternative for images (and a very small number of other, similar elements).
Some rather old browsers (IE4, perhaps, and NS4 for sure) won't display a tooltip for TITLE, because they suck.
The TITLE attribute is specified as part of HTML4, though there are better descriptions of the ALT-vs-TITLE issues around.
Posted by KinCross at 04:20 PM | Comments (0)
January 07, 2003
Office Decor
What makes good office decor? Probably not this Mystery Machine LED clock. Then again, it depends on the office.
Courtesy of Starke.
Posted by KinCross at 12:53 PM | Comments (0)
January 06, 2003
TITLE
The answer to the little text box question is... the TITLE attribute.
<IMG SRC="filename.jpg" ALT="Text for browsers without inline graphics" TITLE="Displays in a text box when mouse hovers over image">
Thank you, Julia, and others who made suggestions.
Posted by KinCross at 12:44 PM | Comments (0)
January 03, 2003
Happy New Year and a few other things
First of all, a few days late, Happy New Year!
I moved on Monday and, through a series of misadventures, didn't actually return to my new home until yesterday, where I was immediately met with a distinct lack of Internet access. That wasn't resolved until this evening. So here I am. Did you miss me?
Working on a new layout for the blog right now. If you really want to see it, the work in progress can be viewed at http://www.cthb.org/dev/. I'm converting over to DIV tags from the TABLEs that I'm using currently, so bear with me while I iron out the layout issues. Since I'm only able to test on IE, Opera, and Chimera (Navigator) on Mac right now, feedback from PC and Linux users would be appreciated.
On a similar note, if you know how to make a little text box appear when hovering the mouse over an image (i.e.: a caption that appears only when the image is hovered over), please contact me via email (itn1@cornell.edu). Not having much luck turning up the kind of information I want on the search engines.
That's it for now!
By the way, if you feel you should have my new address and I haven't emailed you already with it, buzz me at the above email address.
Posted by KinCross at 09:47 PM | Comments (0)